Sunday, June 7, 2009

"Wee-wee" cake

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!!! After a long hiatus (in which I traveled to Philly for a scientific collaboration, prepared a rough draft of my thesis, prepared a presentation for my museum interview, AND defended my thesis) I'm back to the blogging. Weeee- so excited!

FYI: This was the last cake I made as regular old Jacqueline Benjamin. The next cake post (coming soon) will be the first from Dr. J.

This cake was actually made for my cousin's bachelorette party a few months back. She's already gotten married and I'm JUST getting this posted. Ahhhh well, better late than never. I had asked her what kind of cake she wanted, and she specifically requested this dirrrrty version.

For this cake I decided to go at it with a BANG. Although I'd done it before, it was still kinda HARD. Luckily though it was delicious- I could EAT it every day! And the ladies got just as much PLEASURE out of it as I did. (Puns totally intended.)

Sooo, you ready to see the cake??? Well, I'm gonna be a bit of a cock-tease and sloooooowly show you how it was done. Cake foreplay if you will. Luckily I took lots of pictures. What can I say, I cook and tell!

You all know by now how much I like the process photos. Look how cool my milk + egg + oil + vanilla extract looks.


Its like an edible lava lamp!!


Trippy

Alrighty, enough teasing. Onto the ACTION! WARNING: these may not be work safe images. Actually, they're NOT work safe images. (And for some of you out there, they may not be anytime safe images either.)



I started with a chocolate cake baked in a regular 9" x 13" pan. Cut in half (lengthwise) and stacked.



Post-carving. It may not look like much now, but you'll see it all "COME" together in the end.



Cake excess post-carving. What to do with all the leftover cake?? You'll see...



OK, back to the cake. First things first- gotta split the bottom layer in two. Look at my handy little contraption. I not only carve, I slice. Watch out boys!



Closeup slice action



Now the first layer goes down.



Icing on top



Repeat with remaining layers until you get this



Crumb coat the cake to seal in all the crumbs



The cake is missing something though. Two things actually.

Now I'm gonna take a break to give you all a little cake lesson. There are these things called cake balls that are all the rage these days. To make them you just mash together cake + frosting and dip them in chocolate. Like a little bite-sized cake truffle. If you wanna see just how fancy call balls (or cake pops) can get, just check out this blog: http://bakerella.blogspot.com/ I think she basically "invented" shaped cake pops and they're becoming CRAZY popular. OK, back to your regularly scheduled program.

So remember all that extra cake we had?!? Gonna use the leftover cake to make cake balls... LITERALLY!

Wow, what a handfull.



Ahh, looks much better.



(Note: Yes, I realize one of the balls is smaller than the other. That was my way of providing visual perspective. Its a profile view, so the further ball is going to look smaller. Not that there's anything wrong if one ball is significantly smaller than the other- that's just not what I was going for. The ladies were all giving me shit for misshapen manhood)

This then goes in the fridge to HARDEN up (ahahahah, it never gets old)

Another thin coating of icing and it's almost ready to be covered in fondant!



OH WAIT!!! I forgot something. We've gotta make this a bit more realistic. I think a little vein action should help with that.



Now drape the fondant over the cake. You can already see those veins BULGING.



This is when the cake and I had some alone time. I really had to get my hands in there to smooth out the fondant. Lemme tell you, nothing feels more bizarre then massaging a fondant-covered penis cake.

I took it outside to take pics so you could really see the VEINS!



Now all it needs are some finishing touches. A little toasted coconut, some frosting, and we're all done.



Closeup ball shot



I told the bride-to-be to "come get it". And she did. But those pictures are better left for those that attended the party...



Jackie

2 comments:

Ing said...

wow. that's all i have to say.

Audra said...

"nothing feels more bizarre then massaging a fondant-covered penis cake" hahahahaha you are so funny!!!

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