Sunday, August 23, 2009

Cake decorating contraband

One day a few weeks ago I got a package from my amazing friend Sommer. A surprise package for me?! I never get fun notes/cards/packages in the mail, especially random ones for no reason, so I was uber excited- what could it possibly be?!?

As I tore open the envelope I saw a glimmer of light bounce off the the small container and instantly yelled out "DRAGEES! YEAAAAAAA!" Stacey must have thought I was insane, but I just received the equivalent of cake decorating contraband in the mail and was fu@king ecstatic!

Dragees. Most of you won't recognize their name, but I bet most of you out there have fond memories as a kid chomping on these little silver balls used as decoration on cookies or cakes (oftentimes during the holiday season). They're called dragees, and they will KILL you.

Oh wait, they won't kill you?!? No, of course they won't. But you can't acquire them if you live in California. In 49 states you can purchase dragees in stores or buy them online and have them sent to your home... except in California. Why California? Well, some douche-bag threatened to sue those who sold dragees because he thinks that eating a little bit of silver is bad for you. So they're technically not illegal, but nobody wants to deal with being sued so they just won't sell them...

As a cake decorator, you can imagine how sad this makes me. I mean really!? With all the crap we eat as a society is the consumption of 5 teeny little silver balls once a freaking year really going to kill me? Maybe, but I'm sure the pounds and pounds of McDonalds fries I've eaten over the years is going to kill me a hell of a lot faster. But what can I say, I live in crazy California so I just have to deal with it.

To circumvent these silly rules, my plan was to buy dragees in Chicago and bring them back to California with me. But alas, having to do 923,330 things when I'm home means that I ALWAYS forget, and then kick myself when I'm back in dragee-free California. But luckily for me I have an awesome friend that saw these in a store and thought of me. Thanks Sommer- you rock!

So what do those little balls of death... I mean... decoration look like?

Aren't they just gorgeous. Let's see more!

OK, first of all, you have to watch out. Look out and make sure nobody is going to sue you for opening this package. Bastard lawyer guy isn't around? Check.

I'm getting a bit nervous right now... I feel like such a rule breaker. Should I open them?!?

Screw it, I'm sticking it to the man and using these balls of death. Boy, am I excited. I haven't seen one of these things in YEARS!

Holy crap- I forgot just how gorgeous and silver and shiny they are!

OK folks, I'm gonna do it. I'm going to eat a dragee. Why? Because I'm crazy and like to live on the wild side sometimes... Who knew I was such a rebel?

(I didn't include the pic of me sticking out my tongue with the dragee in my mouth, because, well... it just looked a little too scandalous to post online. Sorry boys ;)

Final verdict: Not much flavor, they're just little balls of sugar. But they're not supposed to be tasty (I mean you're not REALLY supposed to eat them). They're just supposed to be pretty.

I admit, it was a bit unnerving when I got them wet and the silver started to come off in little sheets. But seriously, how many freaking dragees would you need to consume to get any trace of anything in your system? I'd eaten a few as a kid and look at me, I turned out completely fine (no snickering out there folks!) So I'll definitely be using them in the future. I'll just make sure to tell people to "eat at your own risk."



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